Tag Archives: Lost

The Follies of Reality

THE FOLLIES OF REALITY

I’m trapped inside a maze

Closed doors with no exit

My vision is blurry

But no knobs to adjust it

Memory fading

I can’t remember how I got here

Been here for 27 years

But it’s still life I fear

Knocked down by deception

Chained to my depression

Life’s a two way street

I managed to take the wrong direction

Trampling over things not seen

They’ve become images

Darkness falls and dreams dissolve

I wake to discover

A nightmare of reality

  • Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://imgarcade.com/1/breaking-rope/

Heartless

The power and rage of this permanent pain,
sporadic avenues of reviving buried yesterdays.
The tall tales of a love I initially claimed,
a tragic romance which led to dismay.

Hurt resembling a thousand knives to ones chest,
a punctured ego, riven thoughts and broken promises.
With my severed heart and capricious requests,
no gain without pain, I’ve grown to be heartless.

Intentions are as prejudice as white supremacists,
I’m wildly sucked into this infinite tunnel.
Worshiping flawed emotions as a love atheist,
things never work out for me, they always crumble.

The passion’s gone, but memories compose tattoos,
maturing into a glutton for critical heartache.
It skips us like stones to a non-rippling lagoon,
what lead me to presume union would display?

What the hell was I thinking, I’m quite the fool,
this hopeless search for a fulfilled happiness.
Too busy dreaming, discounting logical thinking,
like a needle in a haystack, I’ve lost my place.

  • Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://fineartamerica.com/featured/heartless-martin-dawids.html

Sinister

Night terrors visit me
in my nocturnal state.

My world’s at rock bottom
so I’m snoozing in the day…

Straggling dusk til dawn,
my consciousness veers away.

Street lights that ever glow,
are certainly dimmer today.

Losing track of all mistakes
in the past that I’ve made;

My future reads error,
mental states are dazed.

  • Ms Tioko

Land of the Lost

Every day she hides her dreams under a
mattress right beside her dope habit.
Locked away from the world
so no one would know she’s slacken.

Rejecting help or intervention,
she’s in too deep, a basket case.
Shamefully hording this self-hatred,
her mind and heart have been replaced.

There’s only this vacant space, no tone,
an emptiness evoking a fading echo.
Grasping this fixation with all might,
like any addict, she can’t seem to let go.

Appetites perform disappearing acts,
skipping town without a trace or fragment.
With no subsistence in her belly, she’s
bulimic by default, vomiting gastric acid.

Roaming the streets searching for
evident answers; she in a haze, a trance.
I often wonder who she was in the past,
before she acquired this poisonous romance.

Shunned and not deemed as normal,
everyone passes her with no emotion.
With no love or protection she’s disowned,
suffering the withdrawals and hasty moments.

Instability chauffeurs her through life.
speeding and swerving with no license.
Driving in circles and losing direction,
she also lost herself in this crisis.

Maybe she belongs in the Land of the Lost

  • Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://rebloggy.com/post/art-trippy-beautiful-dope-cocaine-drugs-weed-smoke-lsd-drug-acid-space-galaxy-tr/89068116618

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine
The feeling I’m given

When you’re holding me
Falling for a man I can’t see
Immersed in your aroma of  love
Awaiting the day, no longer
Dreaming of you touching me

I can only imagine
Our minds intertwined

We’re together as two bodies
Compromising one spine
Lovers in spirit, soul tied
My love for you echoes
Like wolves in twilight
Every day’s brand new and
Each time’s the first time

I can only imagine
Our emotions taking over

Loving that fact that we’re
Growing much closer
Surrounded by situations
That’s pushing us farther
Both turning in circles
No intentions of letting go
My feelings run deeper
Than any ocean shall flow

I can only imagine
Our love interchanging

Exchanging emotions
Relentless and never-fading
Hopeful for tomorrows
Of eternal love
Injections of adorations
Saturated with love
A feeling so bizarre
I’m showered with love
I’m lost without you

I Can Only Imagine…

– Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/lovers/images/14531231/title/summer-love-photo

Before Sunset Movie Review and Quote

Before Sunset is the sequel of a trilogy and one of my favorite romantic films. It’s clever, eloquent and extremely charming. After a decade, an American author and French woman are coincidentally reconnected. They catch up on old times and converse about love, heartbreak, marriage and contradictions. It’s a must see.

Céline: I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like (snaps her fingers) this! You know? People just have an affair or even…entire relationships…they break up and they forget! They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals! I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with. Because each person have…their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost.

Each relationship when it ends really damages me; I never fully recover. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved because…it hurts too much!. I guess when you’re young…you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. Later in life you realize it only happens a few times.

You know, couples are so confused, uh lately. I think it must be that…men need to feel essential, and they don’t anymore. Because it’s been imprinted in their heads for so many years that they had to be the provider…like I, I’m a strong independent woman in my professional life. I don’t need a man to feed me but I still need a man to love me and that I could love, you know.

Jesse: Is that why you’re in a relationship with somebody who’s never around?

Céline: Yes, obviously, I can’t deal with the day to day life of a relationship. Yeah, we have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves, and I miss him, but at least I’m not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I’m like suffocating!

Jesse: No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved…

Céline: Yeah, but when I do it quickly makes me nauseous! It’s a disaster… I mean I’m really happy only when I’m on my own. Even being alone…it’s better than…sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It’s not so easy for me to be all romantic. You start off that way and after you’ve been screwed over a few times…you…you…you forget about all your delusional ideas and you just take what comes into your life. That’s not even true I haven’t been…screwed over, I’ve just had too many blah relationships. They weren’t mean, they cared for me, but… there were no real…connection or excitement. At least not from my side.

Jesse: God, I’m sorry, is it…is it really that bad? It’s not, right?

Céline: You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It’s funny…every single of my ex’s…they’re now married! Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married!

You know, I want to KILL them!! Why didn’t they ask ME to marry them? I would have said “No”, but at least they could have asked!! But it’s my fault, I know it’s my fault, because…I never felt it was the right man. Never! But what does it mean the right man? The love of your life? The concept is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person is…EVIL!! RIGHT??!!

You know, I guess I’ve been heartbroken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from the starts I make no effort…because I know it’s not going to work out, I know it’s not going to work out.

I’m so miserable in my love life, in my relationship, I always act as… like…you know, I’m detached, but I’m… I’m dying inside. I’m dying because I’m so numb. I don’t feel pain, or excitement. I’m not even bitter, I’m just…uh…

 

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://criticsroundup.com/film/before-sunset/
MOVIE WEBSITE:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0381681/

Man Child

Son of man with a
misconception of himself;
vulnerable to the
absurdities of life itself.

He’s a hustler by nature,
that’s how he views himself;
throughout the day he’s an actor,
by night he’s bottom shelved.

Beautiful beating heart,
to me remains evident;
known to sell his soul for
foolishness; dead presidents.

No one listens, so the
wind hears his silent screams;
potential for greatness if he
paints his darkened dreams.

With his customized teeth and
desire to be free and unfurled;
wrestling with insecurities, lost
in the depths of a secular world.

Exchanging happiness and
couth with material assets;
always running from the truth,
he’s got no more lies left.

Trapped within a glass cube,
with no intent to see through;
there’s no denying, if asked,
he would imply it’s all true.

Wandering down this path of
Loneliness Road;
incapable of u-turning 
he continues forward.

Fear of reflection in this
mirror, broken entirely;
wounded pride and scarred hands
are healed with foolish qualities.

Like chameleons adjusting
to uniformed habitats;
afraid of exposure and change,
the lost boy drifts back.

Girdled by toxins unseen
to the trained human eye;
if he keeps this pace who knows
what’ll become of this life?

Man Child

  • Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9hg7S97kXU