Tag Archives: Emotions

Heartless

The power and rage of this permanent pain,
sporadic avenues of reviving buried yesterdays.
The tall tales of a love I initially claimed,
a tragic romance which led to dismay.

Hurt resembling a thousand knives to ones chest,
a punctured ego, riven thoughts and broken promises.
With my severed heart and capricious requests,
no gain without pain, I’ve grown to be heartless.

Intentions are as prejudice as white supremacists,
I’m wildly sucked into this infinite tunnel.
Worshiping flawed emotions as a love atheist,
things never work out for me, they always crumble.

The passion’s gone, but memories compose tattoos,
maturing into a glutton for critical heartache.
It skips us like stones to a non-rippling lagoon,
what lead me to presume union would display?

What the hell was I thinking, I’m quite the fool,
this hopeless search for a fulfilled happiness.
Too busy dreaming, discounting logical thinking,
like a needle in a haystack, I’ve lost my place.

  • Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://fineartamerica.com/featured/heartless-martin-dawids.html

Reflections of Ruin

Internal affliction on an ultimate high,
he pins himself under his own prison.
Surrounded by this intangible dome,
it was never intended for me to enter.
Thickened skull of confusion and anguish,
progresses the fire burning within he.
His extreme acts hurt himself and those he love;
mine amour once rid him of such injury.
Free loading memories wear out welcomes,
undermined thoughts take flight in thick fog.
With even bifocals, he’s blind and I’m invisible;
too impaired to see that I bestow of him my all.
Smothering the one light that brightens his skies,
he’s immune to this self-imposed darkness.
Convinced that loneliness is the only place to call home,
I guess he won’t be appeased until he’s a carcass.
Reflections of Ruin
– Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://sythest.deviantart.com/art/Self-Destruction-215215723

Before Sunset Movie Review and Quote

Before Sunset is the sequel of a trilogy and one of my favorite romantic films. It’s clever, eloquent and extremely charming. After a decade, an American author and French woman are coincidentally reconnected. They catch up on old times and converse about love, heartbreak, marriage and contradictions. It’s a must see.

Céline: I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like (snaps her fingers) this! You know? People just have an affair or even…entire relationships…they break up and they forget! They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals! I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with. Because each person have…their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost.

Each relationship when it ends really damages me; I never fully recover. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved because…it hurts too much!. I guess when you’re young…you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. Later in life you realize it only happens a few times.

You know, couples are so confused, uh lately. I think it must be that…men need to feel essential, and they don’t anymore. Because it’s been imprinted in their heads for so many years that they had to be the provider…like I, I’m a strong independent woman in my professional life. I don’t need a man to feed me but I still need a man to love me and that I could love, you know.

Jesse: Is that why you’re in a relationship with somebody who’s never around?

Céline: Yes, obviously, I can’t deal with the day to day life of a relationship. Yeah, we have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves, and I miss him, but at least I’m not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I’m like suffocating!

Jesse: No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved…

Céline: Yeah, but when I do it quickly makes me nauseous! It’s a disaster… I mean I’m really happy only when I’m on my own. Even being alone…it’s better than…sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It’s not so easy for me to be all romantic. You start off that way and after you’ve been screwed over a few times…you…you…you forget about all your delusional ideas and you just take what comes into your life. That’s not even true I haven’t been…screwed over, I’ve just had too many blah relationships. They weren’t mean, they cared for me, but… there were no real…connection or excitement. At least not from my side.

Jesse: God, I’m sorry, is it…is it really that bad? It’s not, right?

Céline: You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It’s funny…every single of my ex’s…they’re now married! Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married!

You know, I want to KILL them!! Why didn’t they ask ME to marry them? I would have said “No”, but at least they could have asked!! But it’s my fault, I know it’s my fault, because…I never felt it was the right man. Never! But what does it mean the right man? The love of your life? The concept is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person is…EVIL!! RIGHT??!!

You know, I guess I’ve been heartbroken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from the starts I make no effort…because I know it’s not going to work out, I know it’s not going to work out.

I’m so miserable in my love life, in my relationship, I always act as… like…you know, I’m detached, but I’m… I’m dying inside. I’m dying because I’m so numb. I don’t feel pain, or excitement. I’m not even bitter, I’m just…uh…

 

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://criticsroundup.com/film/before-sunset/
MOVIE WEBSITE:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0381681/

Manic Fornication

Thoughts run together like they’re gang related
Robbing me of emotions leaving me sedated

Stunned like dummy in slump, effects are dictated
Needles to wrists, arouse body fluids, I made it

Anatomic orgasms numbs me til I’m jaded
It’s a self-inflicted high, call it masturbated

Pleasure within bloodline, no incest, just vain sex
Thrusting toxins inside until I shake and lay to rest

Dumbfounded with heart pulsating through chest
High dose tonics paralyze my distress

Lost dialogue sounds from smothered deep breaths
Drained of energy and soul, eyes roll right to left

Unimaginable bliss to reach superb destinations
These are the results of obscure manic fornication

  • Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://sciencelens.co.nz/2012/11/16/albert-hofmann-psychedelic/

Endangered Emotions

Oh to say I love you
No shame within a lie as this
Antique words of collapsing value
Suchlike promises has been falsified
We recite with no ardor, no meaning
A forced response to spare the integrity of both
Warping its immortality to our
breached expectations
What a tragedy?
To utterly express beauty with a passion deficit
Love is used like a nameless whore
Traded for the likes of detoured morals
We cheat love and cash it in for pleasure
Redeeming it for personal uplifting
Oh, love…
What has become of you?
Abolished by those whom you give life
We have disgraced you, love!
Selfish as we are, gaining all the credit
By no means do we pause for reflections
Will we ever kindle love?
– Ms. Tioko

PHOTO CREDIT:
http://imgarcade.com/1/dead-rose-flower/