“Hi…My Name is Tioko and I’m an Alcoholic.”
Lost in the world without my moral compass,
eyes closed, heart open, inhaling this liquid sin.
This thing has a hold on me like a fungus,
ejecting deep breaths of warm toxic oxygen.
I’ve had enough but never have I been a quitter,
unstable I drop this flask of homegrown logic.
Engulfed in this fountain of Brandy as I quiver,
blurred visions, seeing double, feeling myopic.
Slurred words and broken English outpour,
reverting to childish ways, I cry out for more.
Snatching a glass from the shelve as I roar,
I scream about nothing, worse than I’ve been before.
Misguided cries echo in deserted space,
this awakened pain is inescapable as nicotine.
Everybody hurts though at a variant pace,
chances of survival for me are quarantined.
I’m unruly like a psycho that’s prone to kill,
a least that’s how I’m feeling right now.
Mumbling to self about this drunken thrill,
it gained all control and from me removed clout.
I can’t move a muscle but I manage to keep pouring,
quaffing heavily to cease this perpetual thirst.
Forgetting kamikaze was conferred this morning,
finessing this twinge as I’m completely submerged.
I mix foreign pills with this poison and float away,
I’m a harm to myself, latching on to this obsession.
Initiated mistakes leaves my motives vague,
played to it’s advantage, I’m owned without question.
Play fights and tea parties with this concoction,
an alternative therapy to neglect eternal depart.
Like a protective mother I’m bound to this adoption,
only when we’re together does my pain discard.
This is my Suicidal Remedy…
- Ms. Tioko
Concluding Statement: Reminiscing on past seasons of desolation and overpowering obstacles, I’ve often inquired about my purpose in life. I befriended alcohol as the solution to my internal pain which altered my perception of reality. Drinking excessively was my social lubricant, masking something much bigger within me. Alcohol is still a weakness for me. My story is the same for so many others compromising their pain with alcoholism.
PLEASE leave comments regarding your struggles, road to recovery or how you’ve overcame addiction. You may save someone’s life. There’s someone out there who relates to you. We are not alone.
AMERICAN FOUNDATION FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION
NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ALCOHOL ABUSE AND ALCOHOLISM